November 14, 2015
It’s Saturday, and I am on my way to Stafford, TX, a suburb of southwest Houston. This is where my sister Stephanie lives. She is 49 and number 3 in the pecking order of our siblings. I am the oldest. Our brother from Humble, Tripp, is #2 and Julie, from Ft. Lauderdale, FL is the baby.
Stephanie ran away from home when she was 16, two years after my parents divorced. She got pregnant, had the baby, and went to jail for prostitution and theft. For the next 25 years she has been in and out of the prison system, spending 75% of this time incarcerated, most of that time she was running from the law. She has had 4 more children during this period. Keeping track of her has been hard for our family. She has stolen from all of us on multiple occasions just to disappear in the depths of the inner cities of Dallas, San Antonio and Houston. She was even involved with the San Antonio mob at one point. Because of her lifestyle, she has no relationship with any of her children. She has Hepatitis C, she lost one kidney in an emergency surgery in prison. She is borderline schizophrenic and is full blown bipolar.
We never knew what happened to her other than she was “the kid” that fell between the cracks with the divorce. We look back now and know that is true. Stephanie has been out of prison for 8 years now. She is clean and sober. She is a believer. Her struggles in life include PTSD from her experiences on the streets, being in the prison system, and now her health issues. She functions well daily. She is a helper of people. She counsels those who have been where she is. Our family has nurtured her since she has been out. Her counseling has brought her a long way. She will be on probation until 2025. She and I have always had an honest relationship.
During all her years on the run it was hard for me to keep up with her. But from 2005-2008 she was in the Huntsville Women’s prison for three solid years. I mailed things to her and talked to her on a regular basis. All she wanted was money. I told her no. But I did tell her that I was here for her and that she would not stop hearing from me. She knew I had a relationship with Jesus. So I sent her books and magazines and articles and letters every week until she was released. The first year, she asked me to stop sending her this stuff, the second year she started asking for specific things, the third year she was begging me to send her more. Thank you Max Lucado and Rick Warren, for starters.
Life has been one uphill struggle since she has been out. Repairing relationships was the most important goal with our family. She speaks often about missing the funerals of our dad, and both of our grandmothers. She has since repaired the relationship with our mom and Julie. Tripp is intolerant of her. You see, she lived with him for a year in 2010 and she was combative, vulgar and unreliable at the job he gave her. He owns two Christian-based businesses. He finally had to ask her to leave. This was one of two reasons I was there with her this week. She and I were having lunch with Tripp who only lives 50 minutes away from her.
But the main reason I asked for this sabbatical was because Stephanie called in October and told me she has lumps in both breasts from her mammogram. Her next appointment isn’t until November 17 because she is going to a clinic in Houston that will be free for her because of her financial situation. It is called “The Rose”. God placed a heavy responsibility on my heart to request this time with her, and possibly with our brother. I called Tripp and told him what was going on with her and he was more than open for us to have lunch.
Stephanie and I went to her doctors appointment on Tuesday. The results were confirmed, two lumps in both breasts, a possibility of a third. They also did an ultrasound, positive for two. She has an appointment on December 3 for a biopsy. We pray. That night she told me that she doesn’t think they are cancer. And if it is, then she will do whatever it takes to beat it. She told me, “God did not keep me here and alive after all I have done and been through to not fight for my life. I know He has a purpose for me. Even now! Even after everything I have asked to be forgiven for.” We cried about her tough stories and the things she did, stories she didn’t feel like telling me until now. It was tragic and heartbreaking and sounded like a terrible movie, things that happened to other people, terrible things. As we talked, I noticed a strong peace about her about this time in her life. She was like a strong warrior. I admired her. She was shining in the face of God. Her strength was beautiful. I can feel God working in her life. She is fearless.
Thursday, we drive to Humble to meet with Tripp. He was so happy to see us. We had a great lunch and the three of us talked about all of our near death experiences as 20-somethings and war stories that we all survived. But life was hard after the divorce for all of us and we had so many stories that we shared, stuff that only siblings can relate to one another in the memories of our youth. That was our bond, our connection. Before we knew it three hours had passed and we headed to one of his two karate schools to pickup some gifts he had for both of us. He gave us hand blown Christmas ornaments, boxes of them. We hugged and laughed and said our goodbyes with a request from him that he would like to drive down to Stafford for lunch with Stephanie in a couple of weeks. She happily agreed.
Stephanie and I spent the rest of the week caring for a lady named Jo Alice who is dealing with dementia. We cooked for her and kept her company. Stephanie cares for her when her friend Jodie is at work. This is Jodie’s mom. I see the love she has for this 85 year old woman and the compassion for helping. This is Stephanie’s recovery at work, caring for those in need. She realizes that she has more love in her than she knows. Her counseling is going well. She is reporting to her parole officer every other week, on time. These things are a part of her life now. She is in a good place and she loves the Lord. God is good. My time here was important and I thank FDLIC for allowing this family a time of great healing.
