For my helper of people portion of my sabbatical I felt a strong calling to be there in any way possible for a friend. We grew up together and were best friends in high school; however, with as busy of a life as I lead, we have spend almost no time together in the last several years. Within the last year, his wife was diagnosed with ALS. Currently she is unable to move the majority of her larger mussels and for the last six months she has refused to allow anyone in the house. This has made it very difficult for my friend as he is the sole caregiver, runs a business, works 60+ hours, and tends to every need of his three young boys and the home. I am completely amazed that he has managed so well for this long, especially knowing that 4 hours is a dream amount of time for him to sleep. In a private conversation, he let me know that he has no time to clean the house, mow, or take care of anything. There are also things he needs to do for the house in order to care for his wife. I told him that I would be honored to clean the home and help him with modifications. Unfortunately, he told me that there was no way that his wife would allow anyone in the home for these jobs except for him. I told him that I wanted to be there for him and asked if there was anything I could do. He finally let me know that what he would really like to do is clear land in order to maneuver his lift van closer to the home and to build a entertainment room for the kids that is not connected to the house. The children have not been able to have any friends over and this would give them a way to achieve this. In addition, it would give the children (ages 8, 11, and 15) a place to be when their mom needs rest. He feared he would not ever have the time to do this. I told him that I would love to do this for him. At first he persisted that it would require being in the heat for days and that I would have no ability to cool down in his home. To this I said, “perfect”. I told him about our sabbatical process and that for my sabbatical I was already committed to spending the entire time 30 days mostly outside and with no use of computers or technology. Ideally, I wanted to avoid any air-conditioning as well. The lack of computers and communication devices is to detox from a rough year. The only exception I am making to this objective is this blog. My friend already knew that I love the heat and that my way of relaxing is physical work.
Following the start of my sabbatical we began to work. We mowed and cleared land, repaired and stained the wheel chair ramp at the front of his home and then began work on an entertainment room. For this project, we planned to turn a large storage building into this room to brighten the daily life of the kids. First we had to clear the buildings. These required three large trailer trips to various charities and three large trailers of trash delivered to the landfill. Following this, we cleared ever thing else out of the building and onto the land we recently cleared. We then made several runs to Lowes. We insulated the blank studs, put up walls, installed a celling, textured and painted the walls and celling, installed an air-condition window unit, put up trim, and added lights and electricity. This required five 16 hour days, but we were able to complete the project. I believe this was actually a surprise to both of us. Additionally, it allowed me to completely take my mind off work for the first time that I can remember. I realize this might sound odd to some, but it was the most relaxing thing I could possible do for my first week and I have a great tan to show for it. It was also wonderful to see the excitement in the faces of his children.
The work is explained in the first two paragraphs, but the real blessing is very difficult to describe. At the end of the last main day of work, my friend had prepared his wife for a visit by hospice. She ended up canceling the meeting, but her mom came out and brought food. For the first time she allowed me into the home. I called my wife so that Robynn could say hi to her as they were college roommates. To my surprise and especially to the surprise of my friend, she invited Robynn over as well. I believe she almost felt guilty as I had been there and outside for the last five days. This turned into a very emotional time of sharing and loving. Robynn, my wife, lost her mom to ALS when she was only 9. Robynn was able to communicate openly with her when she explained why she would not allow anyone in. She said that she did not want anyone to remember her this way. Robynn was able to explain how she went through all of this with her mom and how she now remembers the good times. We explained that we wanted to be there for them and that we loved them. The next day my friend called me with excitement in his voice. He explained that his wife had had a wonderful time and was able to relax. He shared with me how she had recently been voicing things like, “I am just ready for it all to be over (life).” He said that she was now more open to seeing people and had invited my friends mom over for the first time in a long time. We are hopefully planning another visit next week. During our time working together, we shared many wonderful moments and emotions that are more than I could describe. I am so grateful to work and the Lord for allowing this opportunity.
Following my time of helping my friend, I then switched my focus to my mom. I repaired the wheel chair ramp in the front of the house and finished a storage shed she was working on in she back yard. This was necessary to remove her items from the garage as space is needed for her van that is now equipped with a wheel chair lift. My uncle requires a wheel chair and is Bing cared for by my mom (his sister). The building was approximately 70% complete when the people she had working on it skipped town for good.
These projects differed from my original desire to help in some way my missionary friends in Mexico; however, I am still planning to help with some fundraising during my sabbatical.