10/31/2019
Somewhere along the way in my journey of adulthood I’ve become conditioned to not know how to relax. And when I attempt to do so I’m also conditioned to feel guilty about doing it. During my vacation week of my “mini sabbatical” my husband and I went to the Bahamas for a full week with another couple. The first couple days we spent most of our time rotating between the pool, the hot tub and taking a nap. We aren’t really beach people so we enjoyed the view of it from the resort. I told my husband I kind of felt bad that we spent all this money to pretty much do “nothing” when we could have done “nothing” at home. My husbands response was pretty profound and hit me hard…. yes, he said.. but YOU won’t. He was right. I don’t allow myself to relax and recharge at home without feeling guilty for doing so. The only way I allow it for myself is to leave and call it a vacation. I’m really thankful that this tiny nugget of truth came shortly into my vacation because I allowed myself to enjoy every second without feeling guilty and it was so amazing. This vacation was well overdue and much needed. Last year my husband and I both used every single sick/personal and vacation day on doctor appointments and travel to do so. The last couple years have been so overwhelming and stressful with both of my daughters having major health issues that nearly broke me. As I sit her writing this we are sitting at Hailey’s cardiologist appointment in McKinney. Thankfully this time she is doing well and only doing an annual follow up testing but for a solid year I can’t count the number of times we have been here for testing and treatment. Several months of weekly visits and then quarterlies some of them being overnight trips. Today we are hoping that we can start going to annual appointments only because she’s starting nursing school at Texas Tech in January and can’t miss classes.
I did my volunteer work at PRA again this year and every time I do this I leave blessed. I’ve blogged before about the mindless tasks they have for me to do there that seem so minimal but when I really stop to think about it, every single thing I touch there, whether putting together literature folders, replenishing the teddy bears in the patient rooms, making gift baggies for the new moms….is something that I’m doing to help bless a precious new life and their parents. This time I decided to pray over each bear I put away, each diaper I restocked in the closet, each tiny baby sock I put in the gift bags. Such a blessing to know that I’m able to speak life over those things that will be going home with those babies. I always leave there feeling like I’ve done something productive for the Kingdom and that a great feeling.
This mini sabbatical was exactly what I needed to regroup, recharge and get me through the rest of the year. I’m so thankful to work for a company that values their employees enough to invest this kind of benefit to them.