I don’t always pick up on the nuanced impressions and messages God sends my way. This week I received two messages loud and clear.
One:
I was meant to volunteer at Freedom Reins Ranch this week with the kids, not last week without them.
I knew it would be hot and tiring and, honestly, I didn’t want to deal with whiny kids who I knew would rather be swimming at the pool than painting a pipe fence. So, in my infinite wisdom I tried to force the service project so that it would be done by the time I picked up the kids from Kristi.
God had other plans, and sent some summer rain.
As a result, the kids and I spent three mornings this week painting about 100 feet (but it felt more like 100 miles) of pipe fence at and around Mike’s main horse pen. Connor (9) and Scotty (4, going-on-16) worked so hard! They were excited to help out at the ranch, and whining was at a minimum – especially if you don’t count my own.
I love physical and manual labor – it’s not that I don’t like volunteering with kids or feeding the hungry, but I feel my calling (from a volunteer standpoint anyway) is just to be the guy who’s willing to do the menial stuff. Dig the ditches. Remove the stumps. Paint the fences. Working my tail off in Cancun for Back2Back Ministries with the FD (and friends!) team was by far the most rewarding part of my first incentive trip. This week, I was blown away that my kids were willing to do the same with me at Freedom Reins Ranch – they worked their tails off!
God is good, and He has given my children a great gift in hearts for helping others. I couldn’t be more thankful that He reminded me of that this week.
Two:
I desperately needed this time away from work to rest and refocus.
We all have stress in our jobs. It’s normal, and many times that stress can energize us and motivate us! I’ve read about stress in everyone’s blogs, along with how beneficial the sabbatical experience is to relieve that stress. It wasn’t until this week I realized just how much I needed this relief, too. My stress levels – magnified by life events of the past year and my own insecurities – were affecting my work, my productivity, my motivation, and my outlook. And for that, I’m sorry.
In classic rookie fashion, I’ve tried to plan every day of my sabbatical – and (thank you, God) I’ve failed to execute that plan in its entirety. Simply allowing myself to wake up naturally – or with a 4-year-old jumping on me – in the morning has been so refreshing. Contrary to what I thought, not planning every moment and simply being open to the moments presented to me has allowed me to experience even more than I planned over the past three weeks. More play-time. More reconnecting with old friends and family. More sunsets. More service. More hugs. More reading. More (good) coffee. More prayer.
I am far from irreplaceable, and it’s been so comforting to know that Dan, Mary, Paul, Todd, Sonia, Judy, Gabby, and many others will more than fill any gaps in my absence. Thank you, everyone, for stepping up and giving me the gift of peace of mind!
At this particular moment of my sabbatical, the kids want to go to the pool – and I’m inclined to say yes!
P