July 21 is a day that has deeply saddened our home and changed our lives forever.
Yesterday I discussed my relationship with my kids. While I was so deeply hurt about those relationships, I was also blessed with another one.
I truly believe there are no coincidences in life. I believe that God puts people in your life at a certain time for a certain reason. God put my husband, Jeff, and his son and mother in my life at a time that I had lost so much. They took me in, loved me and gave me a purpose to go on when finding that purpose seemed impossible.
I had the amazing opportunity to love and be loved by my wonderful stepson, Chris. You see, my husband had raised Chris as a single father and Chris didn’t have much of a relationship with his mother when I entered their lives. God presented me with the chance to be a loving stepmother to Chris for a short time before he passed.
During our relationship Chris saw the pain I was in and comforted me and, although he never said this, I would like to believe that he might have thought about the pain his mother was in due to not having a close bond with him. During the last 6-8 months of his life, he began to have more of a relationship with her. He flew to spend time with her over his Christmas break and spring break of his senior year. She even came all the way to Amarillo for his graduation. Wow! God is so good. He was able to build and start to repair a relationship with her, of course, not knowing that he would soon be in heaven.
The events of July 21, 2014 are burned in my memory and I replay those events every day in my thoughts. Having a conversation at lunch, through text since Chris’ phone was not working well enough to have a verbal conversation. We talked about his plans for the future and that he was going to be baptized the following Sunday. Yes! He had accepted Christ the day before. What peace that brought us in the following hours.
Soon after lunch I went home for a short break in my day. However, on the way home all of the traffic was rerouted around what appeared to be an accident. All I could see was a white motorcycle in the road and so many flashing lights. I immediately had a sick feeling and called my husband. He texted Chris, remember his phone wasn’t working and we couldn’t call him. No response. I then took the back road into the convenience store parking lot and immediately I recognized the boots that stuck out from under the sheet covering his precious, lifeless body.
I had to make the call to his father that I will never forget. The most difficult call I have ever made. The most disturbing words that have ever had to come out of my mouth. Only six weeks out of high school and he was with Jesus.
These past three years have been filled with pain, grief, healing and finally forgiveness. I know the 21 year old kid that caused the accident hurts and I know it was truly an accident and not on purpose. I have chosen forgiveness.
While this was such a tragedy, it did lead me to FDLIC. My mission statement in my presentation is one that comes straight from my heart. While we wouldn’t have ever preplanned for Chris’ death, I firmly believe that preplanning is the right thing to do.
I sit here this morning as I do most mornings and think about those that I love. I thank God for my wonderful kids and while I had some years that we weren’t as close as I wanted, I was given the chance to be a stepmother to Chris.