It has been a big ol’ roller coaster ride since my last post. When last I posted, I was anticipating my 2-week follow-up appointment on Friday, August 25. And that’s right where we got in line for that roller coaster ride.
Who knew that even if you THINK you feel okay that you’re really NOT okay if your blood pressure is 98/62 (normal is 120/80) and your hemoglobin level is 5.2 (normal is 12)?? Well I didn’t so I couldn’t have been more surprised by all the extra fuss that ensued. My temperature was well below 97 degrees Fahrenheit too which added to the ups and downs of this ride. While our wonderful medical team prepared for everything they would do to “make me better”, Galen and I did what we knew would make me better. We began praying and reaching out to our prayer warriors (Notice our pattern since this journey began?). We were pretty quickly surprised by my friend, my nurse from Mississippi, coming to be with us. What a great blessing!
“You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” Psalm 32:7
That scary roller coaster ride then became much calmer and even our medical team relaxed and had visible peace. I had my sabbatical coin tucked in my left hand. Yes, I had a great day (Saturday, August 26) after all of this “fuss” which was a super gift. Then, yes, I did have not-so-good days to follow beginning on that Sunday (August 27). But it was all part of the process that was necessary to get me to Wednesday, August 30…the day I began to feel kind of like me again!! Throughout the downs and ups of our wild ride we focused on our blessings, love, and even laughter. It turns out that you can laugh when you feel seriously yucky! We laughed at my inability to do simple things like drink water without a big red straw (a.k.a. I could not do it alone), at Galen trying to be superhuman (do everything by himself) only to find that he does not possess super powers (a.k.a. he needed help too), and with our family and friends who witnessed these moments, belly laughed, and still loved us.
Remember, I said that on Wednesday, August 30, I started to feel better. The next morning, August 31, I read my devotional, Jesus Calling, which spoke to me about my fragility, my weakness and He told me that this was not a punishment nor an indication of my lack of faith. Amazingly, He was developing my ability to trust Him, to lean on Him rather than on my own understanding (or strength). Did you know that Jesus prefers us to depend on Him continually, trusting Him to guide us and strengthen us as needed? I had not focused on the very important fact that I grow strong in my weakness; actually hadn’t even thought of it. He spoke directly to me through this message giving me exactly what I needed. I had turned to Him in prayer and trusted in Him yet I hadn’t realized, in the moment, that my weakness was going to make me stronger through Him. So completely awesome!
The End. of that roller coaster ride and the beginning of getting stronger and fulfilling God’s purpose for my life and our life, Galen and me, together. I read in my sabbatical book, Captivating, about the radiance hidden in a woman’s heart, my heart, that the world desperately needs. There’s so much more to this book but this statement was profound and kept my mind and my heart returning to it repeatedly. I can relate it to my here and now in that the light of my candle has never dimmed even during this time. I’m sharing my blessings, my heart, and perhaps others will light their candles from my flame and my light will shine brighter because of them. This is the stuff His love is made of.