“They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.”
Carrie Bradshaw
When you look up the meaning of friend you find many definitions, one of which classifies friend as a verb which means to add (someone) to a list of contacts associated with a social networking site. But if you dig a little deeper (into other sites), you will find definitions such as:
- Someone for whom you’re willing to change your opinions. Someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.
- A fictional character from Mars.
- A person who would never intentionally hurt you, lie to you, deceive you, manipulate you, abuse you and who takes great care to be kind to you, honest with you, dependable and loyal. A friend trusts without question because they have never given you any reason not to trust them.
- Someone you enjoy being around and look forward to seeing. Someone who would sacrifice themselves for you.
Each one of these definitions holds a point (or two) of truth. Except for the fictional character from Mars. I just found that comical; asking some of my friends to sacrifice themselves may be a little much.
How many friends do you have? According to Facebook I have over a thousand friends; many of which are reading this blog (and please do not take this the wrong way).
During my sabbatical, I’ve had several opportunities to spend time with friends (both old, new, near and far). And I realized –
- I have some amazing friends.
- In order to have friends (and keep them), it takes work. In other words, to have a friend, you must be a friend.
- I’ve taken some of my friends for granted.
That third point is hard to admit, but all too true.
While visiting with friends, I found myself saying (too often), “Did I tell you about that one time…?” or “Remember when ‘such and such’ happened?” Only to be reminded that I hadn’t shared such special moments with some of the most important people in my life. How, why, when, did my life become so busy, that I didn’t take time for my friends?!
I’ll tell you how – I spend so much time focusing on things that I think are important (work, social activities, what’s for dinner, what show is on tonight), instead of things that are REALLY important (friends, family, faith).
How many times do you find yourself thinking that you know what’s going on in someone’s life only because you saw his/her Facebook status that day? BUT, at the same time you see said person in public only to pass each other as if you haven’t the slightest clue as to who they are?! Facebook classifies these people (and myself to others) as friends…I don’t think so.
This doesn’t mean that I’m going to ‘purge’ my social media of all the people that I don’t keep up with or speak to weekly. It means that I have taken a step back, realized the importance of true friendship, what it means to be a real friend, and that I’m fortunate to have such wonderful friends in my life.
I may not have another consecutive 30 days off this year, next year, or in the next five years, but I do have vacation time, weekends, evenings, and holidays. I want to use the time I do have to be more intentional when it comes to spending time with friends and family.
I think I know a lot, but this sabbatical has shown me there’s a lot more to learn, and I’m anxious, excited and ready for what’s next!
Side Note: I have realized how much I appreciate the convenience and expertise of our IT department. After multiple attempts, I gave up. Sorry for the side-way pictures.
