Author: Jessica Minor

I made a new friend last week.  Her name is Carolyn.  I had the pleasure of meeting Carolyn through my mother’s co-worker, Hillary.  Carolyn is Hillary’s mother in law.

Carolyn is married with three children, 14 grandchildren, seven GREAT grandchildren, and a dachshund name Lilly.  She resides in Orange, TX and has lived in her home, that was built in 1898, for 17 years.  She is a kind, loving, providing and strong woman who has been through three hurricanes.

Two months ago, Carolyn began preparing for Hurricane Harvey, and what was predicted to be one of the most powerful hurricanes to make landfall.  We have all seen the pictures of bumper to bumper traffic of residents trying to flee the path of hurricanes, or grocery stores stripped of all water, canned goods, generators, etc. How do you prepare for something so unpredictable?

Carolyn had attempted to flee the city when Hurricane Rita hit.  She took her daughter, who at that time was undergoing chemo treatments, and headed towards Tyler, TX. After inching along the highway, she realized they would soon run out of gas.  They exited in hopes of finding a gas station with gas, but had no such luck.  Carolyn and her daughter ended up sleeping in the car, in a shopping mall parking lot. The next morning, residents of a nearby church were distributing gas to those stranded in the parking lot.  Carolyn is forever thankful for their generosity.

This time Carolyn chose to prepare with prayer.  She took precautionary measure by gathering water, food, flashlights, candles, and checked in on her family to make sure that they were prepared as well. And then they waited (Carolyn, her husband, and Lilly).

Harvey hit and it hit hard.  News coverage and social media was flooded (no pun intended) of the devastation in Houston, Beaumont and surrounding areas. Roads were rivers, rivers were lakes, and lakes became residents front yards. You couldn’t escape the rain.

Carolyn’s home took in a foot and a half of water, and she was without electricity for four days.  The water was inconvenient, but no electricity, in humid Houston…I couldn’t do it. But Carolyn did, and she did it with a smile.

Carolyn’s husband runs a small air conditioning business, and his ‘office’ is his backyard.  Three of his work vans became ‘victims’ of Harvey and his materials were scattered like confetti.  As soon as he was able he decided to get back to work. A decision that was easily made; his services would be in demand and he is the breadwinner of the home. Unfortunately, going back to work took him away from tending to his own home. This is where I knew I could make a difference.

I wasn’t exactly sure how or what I would be doing, but the opportunity to help Carolyn and her family filled my heart with joy.

While driving to Carolyn’s house, posts that I had seen on social media came to life.  Homes destroyed, roadside trash EVERYWHERE, FEMA drop offs, empty school buildings, vacated cars. It was truly heartbreaking.

I spent the next few days cleaning and organizing Carolyn’s home.  In between sifting through tools, trash, AC parts and other miscellaneous items, I could sneak in some cuddles and kisses from Stormy.  Stormy showed up at Hillary’s home during Harvey, and by ‘showed up’ I mean she was swimming in Hillary’s front yard.

This blog is already much longer than I had planned for it to be, so I will get to the point.  Amidst all the devastation that Harvey caused, it also brought about a peace.   Peace that prayer and human fortitude can weather storms; peace that volunteering can truly make someone’s day; peace that it’s unlikely I will ever have to endure what all these folks did; and peace that good can come from something bad.

Good?  From something bad?  Yes, I saw it in Carolyn’s eyes and words.  She is strong and loves God and family.  Carolyn’s home is simple by most standards but her worth is not in material things but in relationships.

My sabbatical renewed friendships.  But the friendship I made with this stranger who is now a friend brought me peace and a remembrance of what in life is truly important.

(again – I can’t figure out how to rotate these pictures.  Sorry!)

“They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.”

Carrie Bradshaw

When you look up the meaning of friend you find many definitions, one of which classifies friend as a verb which means to add (someone) to a list of contacts associated with a social networking site.  But if you dig a little deeper (into other sites), you will find definitions such as:

• Someone for whom you’re willing to change your opinions. Someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.
• A fictional character from Mars.
• A person who would never intentionally hurt you, lie to you, deceive you, manipulate you, abuse you and who takes great care to be kind to you, honest with you, dependable and loyal. A friend trusts without question because they have never given you any reason not to trust them.
• Someone you enjoy being around and look forward to seeing. Someone who would sacrifice themselves for you.

Each one of these definitions holds a point (or two) of truth.  Except for the fictional character from Mars. I just found that comical; asking some of my friends to sacrifice themselves may be a little much.

How many friends do you have?  According to Facebook I have over a thousand friends; many of which are reading this blog (and please do not take this the wrong way).

During my sabbatical, I’ve had several opportunities to spend time with friends (both old, new, near and far).  And I realized –

1. I have some amazing friends.
2. In order to have friends (and keep them), it takes work. In other words, to have a friend, you must be a friend.
3. I’ve taken some of my friends for granted.

That third point is hard to admit, but all too true.

While visiting with friends, I found myself saying (too often), “Did I tell you about that one time…?” or “Remember when ‘such and such’ happened?”  Only to be reminded that I hadn’t shared such special moments with some of the most important people in my life.  How, why, when, did my life become so busy, that I didn’t take time for my friends?!

I’ll tell you how – I spend so much time focusing on things that I think are important (work, social activities, what’s for dinner, what show is on tonight), instead of things that are REALLY important (friends, family, faith).

How many times do you find yourself thinking that you know what’s going on in someone’s life only because you saw his/her Facebook status that day?  BUT, at the same time you see said person in public only to pass each other as if you haven’t the slightest clue as to who they are?!  Facebook classifies these people (and myself to others) as friends…I don’t think so.

This doesn’t mean that I’m going to ‘purge’ my social media of all the people that I don’t keep up with or speak to weekly.  It means that I have taken a step back, realized the importance of true friendship, what it means to be a real friend, and that I’m fortunate to have such wonderful friends in my life.

I may not have another consecutive 30 days off this year, next year, or in the next five years, but I do have vacation time, weekends, evenings, and holidays.  I want to use the time I do have to be more intentional when it comes to spending time with friends and family.

I think I know a lot, but this sabbatical has shown me there’s a lot more to learn, and I’m anxious, excited and ready for what’s next!

Side Note: I have realized how much I appreciate the convenience and expertise of our IT department. After multiple attempts, I gave up.  Sorry for the side-way pictures.

When first offered the opportunity to take a sabbatical, one would think you would be ecstatic.  A full 30 days, paid and I CANNOT interact with work AT ALL?! Wow…who wouldn’t be?!

Well, I can tell you that I was not.  I didn’t know what to think, or what to do.  I don’t know how to NOT work.  And honestly, the thought of reflecting on myself, my relationships, and many other aspects of my life was quite terrifying.  Work has a way of keeping one busy, so it’s easy to overlook or ignore the outside world or your inner being.  I mean think about it, you spend most of your week at an office, where you’re completing tasks, only to go home after work or on the weekend to tend to other tasks you didn’t get to during the week while at the office.  What are you supposed to do for 30 days without miscellaneous tasks, responsibilities, meetings, etc.?!

But despite my fears, anxiety, and the unknown, I chose to take a sabbatical.

I am now on week 3 of 4, and apologize for just now blogging.  Never fear, Ray – three (if not more) blogs are coming.

I mentioned that I didn’t know what I would do without work…well, it turns out that I have found plenty to do!  I will not bore you with every detail of each day, but instead I will touch on some of the memorable and unexpected moments of my sabbatical (so far).

Week One (& half of two) – traveling

During my first week of sabbatical, I chose to travel.  I figured the best way to disconnect was to disengage myself from Abilene.  If I hadn’t left Abilene, you might have seen me trolling the office parking lot.

So, on Friday, September 22^nd after saying my “goodbye’s” and “see ya in a month”, I took off to Dallas.

I spent the following 12 days visiting with family, friends, and eating WAY too much food (hence a habit I will elaborate on in a later blog).  I have three sets of Aunts and Uncles, several friends, and my little sister who currently live in Dallas.  Seems like plenty of people to keep me busy, right?  Right, but not so right.

I have some very special friends and family that voluntarily took time away from work, to spend time with me – for that I am so thankful and grateful.  My first week was SO GREAT! There was sleeping in (if you count until 8am), great company, delicious food, new adventures, shopping, napping…OH MY GOSH NAPPING, just SO MUCH GOOD!

My second week was very different.  It finally set in that I couldn’t expect my friends and family to hang out or visit with me at 2:00pm on a Tuesday…they were at work.  Just because I was on sabbatical, didn’t mean that everyone else was.  Reality set in, I was alone and couldn’t rely on anyone to tell me what to do next, or keep me busy.

Remember, how I said I don’t know how to NOT work…I also don’t know how to NOT do, or go all time.  Growing up I always lost the quiet game, and heaven forbid you ask me to be still for five minutes.

As I sat in my Aunt’s bedroom (alone), I began to reflect on myself.  I will admit that I tried to avoid this, I scrolled through TV channels, played with my hair, reorganized my suitcase, I even tried to master the ‘smoky eye’ (key word – TRIED), but in the end I still found myself staring out the window watching cars drive by wishing the leaves would change to a brilliant red, all the while analyzing myself.

Without getting too deep, here are a few (okay, several) points I realized about myself (and other things)

• I do not enjoy being alone.
• I cannot do a smoky eye
• I really enjoy cooking. I’m not very good at it, but that’s okay.
• I drive like Danica Patrick in Dallas traffic.
• I love to love.
• I can sleep without a TV on.
• I enjoy visiting with strangers.
• I don’t like pomegranate (at least not in fruit shakes).
• I like deviled eggs.
• French onion soup taste nothing like the dip.
• I am on my own journey. And it’s beautiful
• I love my job.
• I miss my coworkers.
• I enjoy working out (no, that’s not a typo).
• I have separation anxiety (from my dogs).
• I may be too stubborn.

And above all else

• I AM BLESSED.