Well, I am thankful and refreshed and a bit anxious to get back to work.  (Thirty days is A LOT of time off in a difficult sales year—a $2,500,000 account selling to SCI, and $1,400,000 producer quitting on December 28th is the start of the issues TX03 has been addressing,)  so tomorrow back to work I go!

These last thirty days have been wonderful!  I’ve developed some new good habits, and feel as though I have strengthened my relationship with Jesus.  In addition, I was able to spend REAL quality time with my husband and kids, which is priceless.  I look forward to seeing my extended family next week and get back to helping families and funeral homes!

As for service work, I think this story best exemplifies what I have learned and been reminded of:

I’d like to report a bit about my service project. As mentioned, the Lord works in mysterious ways. I was already a couple of days into sabbatical when I realized that my first and second plan to give had fallen through. In my last blog, I mentioned that my current project “fell in my lap,” and I believe God put me where he wanted me. I have been collecting gently used athletic clothing/shoes and equipment for underprivileged children. At times, I have also collected casual clothing for children and adults. In addition, I have collected for a 3rd generation Venezuelan friend whose son started a donation campaign with a local Venezuelan priest as a Gifted and Talented project. I have learned so much about both causes.

The big take away from my American project are the hole’s in a well meaning welfare system. It seems to me that logistically the problem in helping kids is that we are always dependent on parents and adults to get the resources for their children and pass the resources on to them. Beyond that we are dependent on over burdened, overcrowded court systems. Here is an example to help clarify. A real life one. Last week I received word that a 12 year old girl and 8 year old boy needed clothing immediately. Including underwear. How does that happen in our generous country FILLED with resources? Well, they left a tragic and abusive situation with only the clothes on their back. They could not go home. The courts were able to find a relative to take them in, but clothing vouchers are only given to foster parents; not relatives. The relatives will have to file for foster status in order to receive anything for these kids. IF that is necessary, it will take time. These are people barely making it, (working poor,) and have now agreed to take in two children. Ultimately God needs to work in the lives of these adults and children. It is the only answer. In the meantime, I would humbly ask everyone to be patient and Christlike when you see that addicted and abusive adult. The one that seems ungrateful and mean and no good. (I know, it’s hard for me to do too—notice I didn’t write be a doormat and give foolishly,) I wrote be patient and Christlike. Why? Well, from what I am reading over my sabbatical and what I know to be true, it’s what we are called to do as Christians anyway, but if you need more reason here it is. Those horrible, ungrateful adults were most likely terribly abused. Physically, emotionally, and sexually. (It is now believed that as many as 1 in 4 children are sexually abused.) That kind of life experience would probably harden my heart too. It could cause my life to spiral out of control with more and more bad choices. Did anyone read the Happiness Advantage? In many ways we create our own self fulling prophesies dependent on our thoughts. How can we expect a child who has survived to adulthood after being raped, abandoned, unloved, and literally fighting to survive to understand and be appreciative of kindness? How can that happen if God doesn’t soften their heart? Only He can supernaturally heal the soul. That’s my take away from my American project.

As for my Venezuelan project, I had the opportunity to witness a Christian “coincidence”. I write coincidence tongue and cheek because we know as active, praying Christians there are no coincidences. I went to drop off some girls clothes to the grandmother of the boy collecting donations. She talked to me about what is happening in Venezuela, her home country. Socialism combined with a bad leader has caused massive poverty. Where there is food and medicine, it is not affordable. Inflation is over 700%. This boy is collecting donations for a Priest who is now taking in babies daily. The parents (in anguish,) drop their children off with him because they cannot care for them. The priest is overwhelmed because he did not plan on creating an orphanage. They need items for babies. She told me this story with grave concern. I left her home feeling deeply for these parents and babies.

I hadn’t been home more than 10 minutes when my doorbell rang. A neighbor had a HUGE lawn bag filled with never used or gently used toys and stuffed animals for babies and children under the age of two. I called my friend and asked her if the priest would be interested. She became emotional and said, “absolutely!” When I brought them to her house she explained that baby toys were 10x’s the US cost before the hyperinflation began. She has no idea the cost of toys now, or if toys can even be found in the country. My take away from this project is that socialism, especially when combined with bad leaders, leads to catastrophe and revolution. Keep Venezuela in your prayers. Only regime change will begin to solve their immense problems. Revolution is eminent.

So that is all for now. In a few days, I will write my last blog, and I hope to sum up some of my many take aways and life changing experiences over the last month. Thank you all for your prayers and support.

This past week has been fantastic!  I’m so glad the family fun time is not over yet.  We spent 3 days in Galvez with the Carpenter side of the family.  I am truly grateful to have such wonderful in-laws, and a fun family.  My children are, of course, the most blessed by it.

We went to the beach, the boys went fishing, and my niece, her friend, and my son took surf lessons with my husband.  But perhaps the most fun occurred with the much anticipated (by my 9-yr old Reece,) family Bocce Ball tournament.   She worked for hours making “Bocce Ball Boss” shirts for herself and daddy.  A video of their funny warm up is below for those of you not on facebook with me. =)

Carpenter Bocce Ball

And my service work finally came to me…a little later than my liking, but I found it when I stopped looking.  It was the weirdest thing.  Somehow when I went to register with Northwest Ministries, my application went to Deonna Molina at the Wellness Center.  I can understand if I was on our email system at the time, but I hit the “email questions” tab directly off the Northwest Ministries website.  I’m not sure how it defaulted to our wellness center, and I’m sure it was user error, but it really messed up my plans.  It became more complicated when I decided to use my default plan–Meals on Wheels.  Unfortunately for me, Meals on Wheels is run by, you guessed it, Northwest Ministries so the required paperwork and orientation wouldn’t make my deadline.  I was trying to decide what to do about this when a friend (mother of a kid my son plays football with) asked me what I decided to do for my service work.

I like my friend Damian very much, but we couldn’t be more different.  She is an African American lady who was raised in the ghetto’s of Baton Rouge and Houston.  She was able to rise above it and she is now a practicing attorney who has been married for 15 years to a teacher.  She has two children.  She continues to have deep ties to the ghettos and wards of Houston and works with some sad family situations that are usually the result of addiction and abuse.  She had this idea to start a 501c to specifically help the disadvantaged children she meets to participate in activities.  Ballet, gymnastics, football, track, basketball ect.  She is creating a “free” store in exchange for 3 hours of community service work.  Even when kids have registration fees waved, and somehow get transportation, they don’t often have the shoes, cleats, equipment, practice clothes, leotards and so forth to fit in and really participate.  Parents may not have the proper casual clothes to go to the games.  She told me she was starting a collection to personally give to those she met in need.  Since I live in a somewhat upperclass neighborhood, I knew I could help, and from that I started my porch pick up project.  I ask neighbors and friends to leave their gently used stuff on their porch, and I will pick it up.  It’s really gaining steam so I am also helping another friend who is sending items to Venezuela.  What’s really neat is that this is something I can do beyond sabbatical.  I can’t wait to hear some stories of kids/people helped, but that will take some time.

I am enjoying my daily devotional, and I look forward to our next family trip to the Frio.  We are bringing a friend for Reece since she feels left out by her brother and cousin who are teenage boys.  Please pray all goes very well and that the little friend we bring for Reece loves the Frio as much as we do.  It will be her first time away from home without family.  Thanks for all your continued thoughts and prayers.

First thing on the list was to finally bury my Aunt’s ashes at sea in Galveston.  I’m sure some eyebrows raised from co-workers and funeral directors when I posted our ceremony and her final disposition on Facebook.  But I’m getting ahead of myself…

I technically started my sabbatical on Sunday morning.  The night before I received notice that my application to volunteer for Northwest Ministries wasn’t received, (I’ll have to find a different service project due to time restraints,) my car started making funny noises, my son was getting a fever, and perhaps the most upsetting— my husband lost a contact.  Tyler has very bad eyesight and without the contact he can’t drive and it effects his equilibrium dramatically.  All of this occurred the night before we take off for a quick family trip to Galveston to bury my aunt’s cremains and spend quality time together.

Despite it all, I woke up Sunday morning, read my devotional, and we persevered.   The drive down to the gulf went well, and Cade was feeling better.  We arrived at the dock and met the captain.  Rain delayed our service for about 30 minutes.  I knew we had made a good decision when the captain asked if he could start our voyage in prayer.  Roughly one nautical mile out at sea, we stopped the boat and started our ceremony.  (The captain will send the exact coordinates to us so we can mark the final resting place.)  I opened the ceremony in prayer and then the children read their thoughts, prayers and comments they had prepared.  My sister closed our ceremony with her final thoughts and prayers.  We placed the biodegradable urn in the water and watched it float down and away while the sun set.  It was dramatically beautiful.

Some may question why with my many years of experience in the industry, and all of our outstanding Wolfelt training, I would choose this type of service for my aunt.  Even though we had the funeral home provide the cremation, we had no visitation or memorial service provided by them.  This might even appear blasphemous to some.  If you are still reading this you may, or may not like my rationale.  I fully believe that for most situations a traditional service with body present is the most respectful, appropriate, and most importantly, HEALING type of service.  And while this is true MOST of the time, like most things in life, there are exceptions.

My Aunt was near 80 when her cancer returned.  She never married nor had children.  She lived in California the majority of her life until my grandmother turned 100 and could not live alone.  In an effort to take care of Nema, my Aunt moved back to Ohio where she spent the last several years.  She developed friendships in Ohio, but due to age, many of her friends were disabled or in nursing care homes.  Few of her distant relatives are left in Ohio, and they are very distant. (They are second and third cousins mostly.)  My mother and father have passed away and only Nema survives on that side of the family.  Nema is 105, and she doesn’t attend funerals.  She did not attend my father or mother’s funeral.  The only funeral I know of that she attended was her husband’s 30 years ago.  (Nema tends to live in denial at times, and this coping mechanism has served her well.)  In addition, and perhaps most importantly, a traditional funeral experience does not reflect the life of my aunt at all.  There was nothing traditional about her.  She was extraordinarily compassionate, literally brilliant (IQ around 150,) quiet, introverted, gentle, progressive, free spirited and well, different.  Very different.  I am thankful that in her final years she went to bible study with friends and studied Christianity.  She declared herself to be Christian, and we found numerous evidence of this when cleaning up her home after her death.  Declaring herself to be Christian was the only thing “traditional” about her.  She loved dolphins and the ocean and always wanted a condo by the beach.  My decision on her final tribute considered everything mentioned above.

As for what now? We are back from Galvez, but only for 24hours.  We are traveling back to the beach to enjoy some Carpenter family fun for a few days tomorrow.   Oh, and the car and the contact?  We are still working on the emergency contact and the car wouldn’t replicate the noise when we brought it to the shop.  Strange.  And today I am working toward finding different service work since the volunteer application was not received.

Stay tuned.  Who knows what will happen next…