Author: Nick Tunheim

As I’m winding down my Sabbatical, I’m can’t help but think about how thankful I am to have had this opportunity. 

Often times I find myself asking God, “God, where are you in my life?” or “God, will you make it known you are the guiding light in my life.” or “God, I can’t see you…I can’t hear you…”

As I’ve been pondering where God is in my life, the following thoughts raced through my mind.

• It just so happens I was undecided on a career path while a junior in high school.
• It just so happens my cousin (who is a funeral director) moved to my home town when I was a junior.
• It just so happens I hung out with him to learn what funeral service was all about.
• It just so happens I began working at the funeral home.
• It just so happens I realized funeral service was the career for me.
• It just so happens I went to mortuary school or the University of Minnesota.
• It just so happens the Minnesota Funeral Director’s Association had the vision to start Camp Amanda (Children’s Grief Connection) at the same time I was in mortuary school.
• It just so happens Todd Carlson (and others) visited our mortuary science class looking for camp volunteers.
• It just so happens I was moved to tears as they spoke of the vision.
• It just so happens I volunteered for the first, second, third, fourth, fifth… camps.
• It just so happens Todd and I learned we are related.
• It just so happens I met Kris and Melinda Seale, Pat Baxter, Elaine Edward, and a couple others FDLICers at camp.
• It just so happens Kris liked me…I think.
• It just so happens upon graduating mortuary school I reached out to Todd who helped me obtain my first funeral directing job.
• It just so happens that funeral home was an FDLIC client.
• It just so happens that funeral home needed a website.
• It just so happens Chris Baber and I became very close friends through the website venture.
• It just so happens Baber and I had a dream of working together someday.
• It just so happens I was invited to be a guest on a VIP trip several years ago.
• It just so happens I was moved and stirred at what I saw and experienced on that VIP trip and deeply desired to be a part of such a company some day.
• It just so happens Todd moved to Abilene to take an executive position with the company.
• It just so happens Todd began reaching out to me with potential positions with the company.
• It just so happens my wife didn’t want to move (by the way, that was not a God thing).
• It just so happens I left funeral service and took a position as the Director of IT at the Christian school my children attend.
• It just so happens that job was a time of healing for me after a decade of burning the candle at both ends for far too long.
• It just so happens this Passare thing came along and my name came to the table.
• It just so happens Todd reached out to me once again.
• It just so happens I wouldn’t be required to move my family to take the position at Passare.
• It just so happens Kelly Gilgenbach and I connected like brothers.
• It just so happens that I have been with Passare for over two years now!
• It just so happens, it just so happens, it just so happens!  Only God!

Above the surface this story sounds like a lot of coincidental happenings.  But under the surface all you can say is “Only God!”

Friends, I urge you to look under the surface to see God’s providence and see how God is orchestrating, moving, and stirring opportunities for each of us.  It’s not just happening, but rather, God is in all of this, and many steps ahead of you.

Thank you, Kris, the DIG board, and the entire team for allowing me to have this amazing and unique opportunity.

– Nick

It has been some time since my last post. I have spent the last couple of weeks spending quality time with my wife, kiddos, and putzing around on a few home projects that have been on the to-do list far too long. I even spent an evening in my utopia…on the farm, in a tractor, side-dressing (fertilizing) 640 acres of corn. Yes!

I wanted to share with you what I have been doing as far as my service project. There is a wonderful organization in our area called HOPE, Inc. HOPE provides sports and recreational opportunities critical to the health and development of children and adults with mobility challenges and their families.

HOPE was founded by a family whose youngest child was born with spina bifida. In 2012, the Grommesh family was a recipient of an Extreme Makeover Home Edition home which can be seen here. I cannot think of a more deserving family! Bill and Adair Grommesh are two of the most giving and loving people I have ever met.  They have truly devoted their lives to others!

As some of you know, I have two kiddos that have physical limitations. Halle, who has Marfan Syndrome which limits her ability to play high-impact sports, and Yohannes who has a partial amputation on his right leg due to a traumatic childhood injury. You can learn more about Yo’s journey here.

I have spent the last couple of weeks volunteering at baseball games, softball games, and a track meet. Tomorrow I will be meeting with the Executive Director, Adair, and their Administrative Assistant, Holly, to assist with technology as well as upping the ante on their web and social media presence to reach more families in need and more donors to support HOPE and its mission to HOPE, to DO, to DREAM.

We began going to HOPE events as an outlet for my precious Halle last fall. I quickly was swept off my feet by the love, admiration, and inspiration of the leaders of the organization as well as the parents involved. The children quickly captured my heart. I leave each event with tears rolling down my face recalling the smiles and hearing the laughter from children and adults who for a short period of time, felt ‘normal.’

I’ve always have a very special place in my heart for children and adults with disabilities and/or special needs. All of my kids get to participate. Kaleb is often a catcher at baseball and softball and Malia, well, she’s all over the place, but you can often find her in a wheel chair whizzing around or pushing someone as fast as she can and then hopping on for a free ride.

It’s my heart’s goal at each event to make someone, even if it just one kiddo, or one adult feel special.  Over the last two weeks I have made special friends that will forever be a part of my heart.  God has blessed me beyond measure as I am always the one leaving with an overflowing heart. Overflowing with joy. Overflowing with love. Overflowing with emotion. I often get in the car as tears flow down my cheeks while driving home. I’m so overwhelmed by Gods graciousness and overwhelming love for ALL his people.

I’m confident God has a very special love and place in Heaven for His children with special needs. I can’t wait for the day to see my friends be free of their wheelchairs and walkers, dancing and singing praises to our mighty Savior.  I will be dancing and singing right along with them.  And, miraculously, for the first time ever, I’ll be singing on tune!!

It is with a deep honor to recently learn that I have been accepted to be a member of the Board of Directors of HOPE.

– Nick

I awoke much earlier today than I did yesterday as it was barely light out.  I stayed in bed for quite some time thanking the Lord for all he has given me.

Today was the first day where I was able to sit still and enjoy the silence without monkeys jumping around.  I went on several walks and spent several hours in the Meditation Meadow reading, often drifting away with my thoughts as I listed to God’s natural orchestra while the sun graciously beamed down on me.

When your day is not bustling with meetings, to-do lists, children, family tasks, etc., time tends to creep by which gives you great opportunities for deep soul searching, which we all need from time to time.  I know I do!

For those of you who know me well, know I lean on the spectrum of OCD, or as good friend of mine would say, OCC (Obsessive Compulsive Complex).  I have a complex rather than a disorder.  Let’s go with OCC for obvious reasons!

OCC can be your best friend and work to your benefit in certain areas of your life.  For example, in my position as a Product Manager for Passare, it works to our advantage as we are quickly growing our platform and need the obsessive careful eye to ensure consistency in all things, big and small.

On the other hand, OCC can also be your worst enemy and work against you in certain areas of your life.  For example, when the kiddos want to play a game, go for a bike ride, or go for a swim, my first reaction is – What order is the house in?  Are shoes put away?  Are coats hung up?  Are toys all over?  Are the dishes done?  My OCC kicks in and tells me those tasks need to be completed before I can play a game, go for a bike ride, or go for a swim.

Within the first few pages of Hybels’ book, Simplify, he sets up a scenario where God says, “Let’s sit down together.  We’ve got some things to work out, you and Me.  You’ve lost a connection with me somewhere.  You’ve lost your bearings on true north, and now you’re just spinning.  But I have a better plan.”

Vulnerability time here – At times, I lose sight of true north and think, we’ll go on a bike ride tomorrow, or we’ll go swimming tomorrow.  The Lord has convicted me today telling me that if I’m too busy for my own kids, then I’m too busy.  They ought to be a big part of my life, and I want to be a big part of theirs.  I have some work to do in this area.

Tomorrow morning, I depart this soulful place and head back to reality.  I hope and pray that my time here at Well of Compassion will have a profound effect on me as I continue uncluttering my soul and attempting to keep my bearings on true north and fill my soul to overflowing.

Hybels ends his book Simplify with these powerful words which I will end this blog post with.

“We get one shot at this life.  Choose a purposeful, God-first life, and you will reap rewards for today and for eternity.  Choose a life where the God-shaped void in your soul is filled to overflowing, and you will leave a legacy for those who follow you.  Live your one and only life with all the clarity and focus you can give it.  This is simplified living.  This is the life that satisfies.”

I awoke to the serene noise of a gentle rain shower making its way through the land.  It was light out, but I didn’t bother to check the time.  I could hear off in the distance the rain showers becoming heavier as they approached my hermitage.

I awoke again a couple hours later.  I laid in bed in anticipation of a full day without any schedule, no phone calls to make, no emails to return, no text messages to answer, no kids to tend to.  Just a day for me.  Again, I didn’t bother to check the clock as I had nothing prompting me for my time.

I spent about 30 minutes reading my Bible while listening to the birds sing a multitude of what sounded like perfectly choreographed concerts.  I made my way up to the lodge for a quick shower.

Upon my peaceful, 10-minute, walk back to my hermitage, I decided that I would grab my Bible, a book, and my journal and I would take a walk through the trails eventually ending up at a small open field named the Meditation Garden where a picnic table awaits you in the open sunlight.

I sat at the picnic table and just stared around in awe of God’s miraculous beauty in nature.  The monkeys were clearly asleep as I felt for the first time in a decade, that I had nothing, nada, zip, zilch, NOTHING on my mind in those moments.  It was quite strange to be honest.  I could not hear the static of life, but I could hear something that I never hear.

• Bumblebees were buzzing.
• Caterpillars were crawling.
• Chipmunks were scrounging.
• Deer were dancing.
• Dragonfly’s were whizzing.
• Flies were flying.
• Squirrels were squeaking.
• Trees were whisking.
• Turkeys were gobbling.
• Woodpeckers were pecking.

As I sat there in what I thought was silence, I was blown away at the amazing orchestra that surrounded me.  Then it dawned on me – you cannot hear this God-produced orchestra unless you are in silence.  Silence is challenging, but oh so beautiful.  As Paintner wrote, “Cultivating silence is about making space for another voice to speak. Silence is presence rather than absence.”  Today, I am thankful I made space for God to speak through His creation.

I returned to my hermitage and shortly thereafter the monkeys were jumping around again.  Should I turn the data back on on my phone so I can check my emails, my voicemails, my social media messages?  Should I check in with my wife?  Should I spy on them via our in-home camera?  Should I, Should I, Should I…

I laid down and prayed that God would tie those blasted monkeys up and give them a good dose of Tylenol PM for the next 27 days.  After successfully subduing the monkeys, I was fast asleep for another good nap.

I spent the remainder of my evening reading, journaling, sipping tea, and sitting in silence listening to God’s perfectly orchestrated masterpiece that we call nature.

I urge you to regularly practice silence as it helps us grow aware of the chatter of our minds and the judgments we carry about ourselves and others.

– Nick

I arrived a few minutes before 11:00 a.m.  I was greeted by Blair Anderson, a retired pastor of the ELCA after 40+ years of faithful service to the ministry in the northern suburbs of the Minneapolis metropolitan area.  He and his wife, Betty, have made it their mission to provide a place (62 acres) in Central Minnesota for spiritual retreat in silence and solitude.

We enjoyed a cup of coffee and a pleasant introduction of each other.  Toward the end of our conversation, Blair asked, “What are your hopes for your time here at Well of Compassion.”  The question was somewhat a loaded question that I hadn’t anticipated.  My answer was simple however: “A time of silence.  A time of peace.  A time of rest.  And a time to reconnect with God.”

He escorted me to my hermitage, gave me the nickel tour, prayed for me and my stay, and away he went.  He said he would return in about 30 minutes with water and a basket of breads, fruits, and cheeses.  Before unpacking, I made my way out to the screened-in porch where I sat in silence in awe of this opportunity to become a ‘hermit’ for a few days.  Something I have longed for over the course of many years.

It didn’t last long, minutes in fact, for the monkeys in my head to start jumping around reminding me all the things I should be doing.  I should be blogging.  I should be reading.  I should be journaling.  I should be resting.  I should go for a walk.  I should, I should, I should…

Blaire returned with bountiful basket of breads, fruits, and cheeses and wished me well.  I was thankful for his return as it distracted me from the monkeys.  He graciously invited me for dinner at the lodge with he and the other hermit.  I hesitated for a second as I wanted to say no, but couldn’t resist good Christian fellowship.

After pacing for what felt like an hour as I attempted to put the monkeys to sleep, I laid on the bed and began to pray a prayer of thanksgiving for this sabbatical opportunity and this ministry.  I awoke several hours later, just in time to head in for dinner.  I’m thankful I said yes, as we had a pleasant dinner, just the three of us, and some spiritual direction from Blair.  He shared a writing from Christine Valters Paintner about Silence.

As I walked back to my hermitage, The verse “Be still and know that I am God,” encapsulated my thoughts.  Do we really know what it means to be still?  I mean, do we REALLY know stillness?  I know I don’t.  Paintner says, “A person can live alone and still experience much noise within and a person can live in the midst of a crowd and have a true sense of silence in their heart.”

Painter goes on to write, “Silence is challenging.  We create all kinds of distraction and noise in our lives so we can avoid it.”  Do you create distractions to avoid silence?

 I spent the next several hours reading “Simplify – ten practices to unclutter your soul” by Bill Hybels with the flickering light of the lantern as darkness fell while listening to the rustling noises of leaves crunching as critters roamed around outside.

Do you know how dark it gets in the middle of a forest with no electricity!?

– Nick

I officially started my sabbatical today (Monday), which felt much like an extended weekend as I enjoyed time with the kiddos playing outside, swimming, and going to their favorite pizza place for lunch, but not before making a trip to the walk-in clinic first thing this morning with two kiddos in tow.  One with pink eye and the other with an issue she had to whisper to the doctor so no one else would hear.  Where Malia is, drama and sheer cuteness are trailing close behind.

Tomorrow a new adventure awaits me.  For years, my dear and precious friend, Coral Popowitz, Executive Director of Children’s Greif Connection, has been suggesting that I take myself to a ‘hermitage’ where I can get away from all the static and distractions of life and focus on just ME.  While this sounded appealing, I’m not one to focus on me.  A best friend recently reminded me that at times in your life, you need to be selfish in order to be selfless.

Right now, you’re thinking…a what, a hermitage, what is that?  Yes, a hermitage – a place to go where you can become a hermit.  A private and safe retreat center for rest and renewal!  This will either sound very appealing to you, or not appealing in the least.  It’s very appealing to me…not so much to my wife, hence the reason it has taken me years to jump on this opportunity.

I am anxiously awaiting to arrive at this quaint little cabin nestled in the woods of central Minnesota for a short season of silence, solitude, prayer, listening, and contemplation.  No electricity…which means no phone, no tablet, no computer, and no TV.  Just ME and GOD.

As I mentioned earlier, Coral has been suggesting I do this for years as she knows that I struggle balancing work with everything else in my life as work typically overpowers all things.  Work is not only my job, but my hobby.  The hardest word for me to say is the word ‘NO.’

My plate runeth over with all things imaginable.  Work, children, family, children, work, volunteering, children, work, and did I mention, children?

At the end of 2016, I determined my theme for 2017 needed to be ‘Simplify.’  I desperately need to simplify my life so that I can refocus and hone in on what’s most important – my family.  If I were to be graded at how well I’m doing at sticking to my theme so far this year, I’m afraid I’d receive a failing grade.

For those of you who know me well, know that I have a very high regard for one of the greatest leaders and pastors of modern day.  Bill Hybels, senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago who recently wrote a book titled ‘Simplify – Ten Practices to Unclutter My Soul.’  I’m departing for my hermitage in the morning armed with my Bible, Hybels’ books Simplify and Holy Discontent and a whole lot of eagerness for silence and solitude.

Oh, the quietness.

Oh, the stillness.

Oh, the darkness.

Oh, the whispers I’m anticipating hearing from the Lord as I attempt to unclutter my soul and be reminded that God is God.

P.S. – A special thanks to my wonderful wife, for once again, holding together the Tunheim Zoo while I skip away for a few days.

– Nick